PolyTicks

Have you ever been to the website grants.gov? They give away money, lot’s of it. I wonder where they get it? While I’m at it, there’s another uplifting little website called USAspending.gov you should see. It’s such a joy to explore.

Here’s a lovely opportunity.

Media Program in Moldova

Type: Grants Notice
Funding Opportunity Number: 121-08-001
Opportunity Category: Discretionary
Posted Date: Apr 30, 2008
Category Explanation: The USAID Moldova Media Program seeks to complement and work in partnership with existing media development efforts by concentrating on improving and solidifying an existing informal network of regional television stations.
Expected Number of Awards: 1
Estimated Total Program Funding: $3,150,000
Agency Name: Ukraine USAID-Kiev
Description: The United States Agency for International Development (USAID), is seeking applications (proposals for funding) from U.S. or non-U.S. non-profit or for-profit nongovernmental organizations (NGOs), and other qualified non-USG organizations to implement a Media program in Moldova. Please refer to the Program Description (RFA section C) for a complete statement of goals and expected results.

Hey anybody! Want to be a media mogul in Moldova?

Phil

If you read my recent post Inside the work-a-day world of PC science but didn’t want to wade through miles of bureaucratese, you probably didn’t see that the “final respondent sample” used for the survey was about 67,800 people, and everyone who completed the survey was paid $30. You also missed lovely little tidbits like these:

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Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
Performance Budget Overview

 

Mission Statement - SAMHSA’s vision as an agency of the Federal Government is “A Life in the Community for Everyone.” SAMHSA’s mission is to build resilience and facilitate recovery for people with or at risk for substance abuse and mental illness.

SAMHSA was established in 1992 and reauthorized in 2000. SAMHSA administers a combination of competitive, formula, and block grant programs and data collection activities. Programs are carried out through the Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS); the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP); the Center for Substance abuse Treatment (CSAT); and the Office of Applied Studies (OAS). Reauthorization of SAMHSA programs is expected to be considered in this Congressional session.

SAMHSA provides services indirectly through grants and contracts. SAMHSA’s resources enable service capacity expansion and the implementation of evidence-based practices. The agency seeks to engage all communities in providing effective services by facilitating access to the latest information on evidence-based practices and accountability standards.

Strategic Plan - SAMHSA finalized its new strategic plan in 2006, which adds Suicide Prevention and Workforce Development to the matrix. Agency goals are Accountability, Capacity, and Effectiveness. A chart showing the vision, mission, goals and objectives may be found on the next page. The performance budget submission is aligned with the three goals.

SAMHSA’s matrix of program priorities and cross-cutting principles, which implements the strategic plan, has guided the agency’s daily operations and overall program and management decisions for the past several years. The program categories used in the performance budget submission align with the matrix. SAMHSA updated the matrix categories during 2006 to include Suicide Prevention and Workforce Development. The Disaster Readiness and Response is a cross cutting principle. The current matrix is included at the end of this section. Two-year action plans for each program priority area are displayed on the agency’s web site.

SAMHSA’s planning and budget decisions also emphasize alignment with HHS goals. All of SAMHSA’s activities directly support the Secretary’s 500-Day and 5,000-Day plans, HHS strategic objectives 1.4, 1.5, and 3.5, and all management objectives.

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Overview of Budget Request — The FY 2008 President’s Budget totals $3,167,589,000, a decrease of $158,753,000 below the FY 2007 Continuing Resolution. It includes a net decrease of $76,630,000 for mental health; a net decrease of $36,441,000 for substance abuse prevention; a net decrease of $46,859,000 for substance abuse treatment; and an increase of $1,177,000 for program management. Targeted reductions are made in areas where grant periods are ending, activities can be supported through other funding streams or efficiencies can be realized. The budget eliminates funding for 18 programs within the three Programs of Regional and National Significance. The budget includes funding increases for Drug Treatment Courts and Screening, Brief Intervention, Referral and Treatment. The FY 2008 President’s Budget represents SAMHSA’s efforts to maintain the important initiatives put forth in recent years under the President’s Drug Treatment Initiative and the Federal Mental Health Action Agenda which addresses the President’s Initiative on Achieving the Promise: Transforming Mental Health Care
in America.

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Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
Appropriation Language

 

For carrying out titles V and XIX of the Public Health Service Act (‘‘PHS Act’’) with respect to substance abuse and mental health services, the Protection and Advocacy for Individuals with Mental Illness Act, and section 301 of the PHS Act with respect to program management, [$3,046,426,000]: Provided, That notwithstanding section 520A(f)(2) of the PHS Act, no funds appropriated for carrying out section 520A are available for carrying out section 1971 of the PHS Act: Provided further, That in addition to amounts provided herein, the following amounts shall be available under section 241 of the PHS Act: (1) $[79,200,000] to carry out subpart II of part B of title XIX of the PHS Act to fund section 1935(b) technical assistance, national data, data collection and evaluation activities, and further that the total available under this Act for section 1935(b) activities shall not exceed 5 percent of the amounts appropriated for subpart II of part B of title XIX; (2) $[21,413,000]to carry out subpart I of part B of title XIX of the PHS Act to fund section 1920(b) technical assistance, national data, data collection and evaluation activities, and further that the total available under this Act for section 1920(b) activities shall not exceed 5 percent of the amounts appropriated for subpart I of part B of title XIX; (3) $[16,250,000] to carry out national surveys on drug abuse; and (4) $[4,300,000] to evaluate substance abuse treatment programs.
Pursuant to section 1942 of the PHS Act, a State that receives an allotment under section 1911 or 1921 of such Act for the current fiscal year shall submit data from the previous year on all developed National Outcome Measures. A State shall not receive more than 95 percent of the State’s allotment as determined under section 1933 for such year if that State does not report on National Outcome Measures under section 1921. Undistributed amounts under section 1921 shall be reallocated to States that report on such measures under section 1921 in accordance with section 1944 of the PHS Act.
(Department of Health and Human Services Appropriations Act, 2008.)

If you didn’t get all that, all it says is they expect to have about $3.2 billion to throw around.

Phil

Tax Freedom Day is once again upon us, and every year I cringe. I cringe because this well-known, long-standing and much publicized “holiday” may be reasonably accurate for what it is, but it paints a simplistic picture that doesn’t reflect the true costs of government. Instead of infoming the public, it serves to keep them “dumbed-down” by reinforcing the myth that taxes alone represent their total personal cost of government. They tend to accept that the folks at the Tax Foundation have thought of everything when calculating Tax Freedom Day

So Tax Freedom Day for the nation this year was April 23. Your state may be different. What does it mean? It means that nationally, 30.8% of income goes to pay taxes.

You know what a lot of people say to that? So what!?

Many consider it a small price to pay for everything we expect government to do. These are often the same people that think prices always go up because prices always go up. Besides, going by previous Tax Freedom Days, we’ve been paying close to that percentage for 50 years. What’s the big deal.

When you add other things into the equation it’s not so pretty. There are a lot of costs unaccounted for in the Tax Freedom Day calculations. One example is the cost of tax-compliance, or how much we spend just in the process of paying our taxes.

The IRS estimates Americans spend 6.6 billion hours per year filling out tax forms—including 1.6 billion hours on the 1040 form alone. In 2002 Americans spent roughly $194 billion dollars on tax compliance. That amounts to 20 cents of compliance cost for every dollar collected by the tax system. — Tax Foundation

That cost alone would add 6.16% onto your burden, bringing it up to about 37% and making May 15 Tax Freedom Day. I could go on, but I won’t.

All I want to know is, how much is too much.

Phil

I woke up this morning to hear a radio commentary on the latest driving while intoxicated report issued by Big Nanny. In short, this report breaks down state by state the percentage of the population that admits to DUI. The commentator obligingly spewed a few “facts” from this study and then concludes that we obviously need tougher enforcement.

All right, I said to the only person that ever listens to me, I guess it’s time to do the DUI rant I’ve been bottling-up for so long. So, while rummaging through the web this morning looking for DUI related stuff, I eventually came across the report that prompted the aforementioned wakeup commentary. Two minutes later I decided the rant can wait. Instead, I want to show you a textbook example of social engineering masquerading as scientific inquiry. This is the work-a-day world of politically correct science.

First you do your federally authorized/mandated/funded study. Then you package it nicely. Condense it down to nice little soundbites. Put it all on a friendly little website. When that’s all ready, issue your press release. Don’t worry about peer-review. All your peers will love it. From there it quickly spreads across the globe. The press loves it. It’s cheap “news” with a lot of playability and ripe with attention-getting facts. Safety-freaks of all sorts love it. It gives them ammunition for their endless war on danger. Blogs across the world will be lamenting this terrible state of affairs, calling for more, better, tougher legislation. More, better programs, policies and propagandas. Politicians and policy-wonks in Washington, and in every state across the land, have already added this data to their files, ready to use when the time is right. Most of all, the health and safety bureaucracy loves it — job security.

Some will say this isn’t science. I agree, but it certainly fits within the criteria required of PC science. Either way, the data from this poll (that’s all it is) will certainly be given the status of “fact;” and it will unquestionably be used to strengthen the Nanny State’s grip on timid America.

Just for fun, pretend you’re a reporter doing a story about this survey. You’ve seen the press release from the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration. Now you want to see more. So you go to the SAMHSA website shown on the press release. There you find a list of “Highlights” and a link to The NSDUH Report: State Estimates of Persons Aged 18 or Older Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol or Illicit Drugs. It’s an easy read, a few paragraphs and a couple maps.

Is that all? Can’t be. Look some more. Then you find National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) conducted by SAMHSA’s Office of Applied Studies (OAS).

I’m not going to drag you all over this site but I challenge you to take an hour or two and look through this place. Look hard enough and you’ll find the actual Results from the 2006 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: National Findings. Here you’ll find a plethora of drug and alcohol facts gleaned from this poll. You can also find the questionnaire itself. Look through that and tell me you wouldn’t need a drink or two just to get through it.

When you’ve had enough, ignore all the questions you probably have about accuracy of results or honesty of subjects. Instead, suspend disbelief and ask yourself: Even if all this is true, is all this really necessary just to tell me there are people who do drugs and alcohol, and some of them might even get in their cars and drive while under the influence?

It is if the goal is something other than Liberty and Justice for All.

Phil

I don’t like public opinion polls. Never have. It’s not that polls don’t have their uses. When my town council starts thinkin’ about erecting a John J. Audubon Memorial Birdbath, it’d be kinda nice if they’d call me up to ask my opinion. Might save me the trouble of runnin’ down to their fancy-dancy chambers (second floor, east wing) in the new Municipal Government Complex (that they didn’t call me about) every other Tuesday night for the next three months.

What annoys me most about these “scientific polls” is that we let them drive the political conversation when they never actually present any valid opinions. The pollsters query a couple thousand people, if that, with vague questions about how you feel about things. These questions are usually presented in a yes/no or multiple choice type format that leaves the results wide open to interpretation. On top of that, no matter how “scientific” the pollsters are trying to be, respondents are still very much self-selecting. I wonder how many calls you have to make before you get 1,500 bored, lonely, or agenda-driven people to answer your hundred questions.

So when the New York Times comes out with its periodic Are You Happy? poll, right away everyone’s jabberin’ about the (fill-in-the-blank) percent of Americans who think the country’s heading in the wrong direction. The all-knowing talking heads across the land then sagely tell us what we’re upset about; usually that government isn’t doing enough for us, and what little they are doing, they’re doing wrong. Never mind that the poll results cannot possibly give any indication what, to the respondents, specifically constitutes going in the wrong direction.

POLLSTER: Do you feel things in this country are generally going in the right direction or do you feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track?

POLLEE: Yes.

POLLSTER: Yes what? Going in the right direction?

POLLEE: No.

POLLSTER: So you feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track?

POLLEE: Yes.

POLLSTER: Why?

POLLEE: Why what?

POLLSTER: Why do you feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track?

POLLEE: You have to ask?

POLLSTER: Well…, yes I do.

POLLEE: Well if you don’t know, I sure as hell can’t tell you.

POLLSTER: Why not?

POLLEE: Why not what?

POLLSTER: Why can’t you tell me?

POLLEE: Why can’t I tell you what?

POLLSTER: Why can’t you tell me why you feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track?

POLLEE: I never said that!

POLLSTER: Yes you did.

POLLEE: When?

POLLSTER: Just a minute ago.

POLLEE: Oh…. What was the question?

(click)

According to the March 28 - April 2 New York Times - Are You Happy? poll, 81 percent of the 1,368 respondents feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track. Fourteen percent feel things in this country are generally going in the right direction. I guess the other five percent feel we’re on the right track going in the wrong direction.

So what is causing this 81 percent, off on the wrong track, bitterness?

How about this: If you had to choose, would you rather have a smaller government providing fewer services, or a bigger government providing more services?

Smaller: 43%
Bigger: 43%
Depends: 4%
DK/NA: 10%

From a broad, general perspective, it looks like a pretty even split as to why people feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track. Half wants more government, half wants less. These are totally opposite positions. David Copperfield couldn’t pull a political consensus out of that hat?

This is the reported political breakdown of the respondents.

Democrat: 41%
Republican: 26%
Independent: 27%
DK/NA: 6%

I think we can safely assume most of the Democrats feel Bush has taken us down the wrong track. Can we also assume they want bigger government? That’s not so certain. One would think so but they’re a pretty whacky mix of the illogical and irrational.

Conversely, I think we can assume most of the Republicans would prefer a smaller government. Do they also feel we’re on the wrong track? Given their rhetoric, I’d like to think so. With a Republican in the White House, though, I’m guessing half said we’re going in the right direction.

That leaves the Independents. Once again, it’s hard to say, but if I’m right about the other two, then nearly all feel we’re on the wrong track, and at least half think government should be smaller.

So when Pauline Pundit starts telling you why so many Americans feel we’ve gotten off on the wrong track, you can throw your shoe at the telly and holler back: “You don’t know what in tarnation you’re talkin’ about.”

In conclusion, there are a couple numbers from this poll I personally find terribly depressing. When asked to name the most important problem facing this country today, only one percent said politicians/government. When asked to name the most important ECONOMIC problem facing the country today, a slightly better two percent said too much government. I bet those numbers would be a lot higher if we get a law passed that requires you to answer those hundred questions.

Phil

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

 

My Fellow Compatriots,

Our opponents in this bitter campaign have savagely attacked our grand plan for a LOOPIER America. They say the Loonie Overall Opportunity Plan for Inclusive Economic Recovery will cost too much money. As if their “golden parachute” plan to bail out the richest of the rich won’t cost a lot of money. As if their “universal health rationing” program won’t put enormous windfall profits into the already Monolithic Insurance Industry. As if their convoluted morass of bureaucratic buffoonery masquerading as education financing isn’t ridiculously expensive, time-consuming, and patently unfair, to boot. Who are they to talk about “scattering money into the wind like it’s so much confetti?” For decades they’ve been burning it like cordwood to stoke the fires of their solid gold, gem encrusted, fiscal fleecing machine of insatiable greed.

Puts me in mind of a story from my youth.

Once upon a time, a long time ago; when a chocolate bar was only a nickel, a fin was a lot of money, and a double sawbuck was a veritable fortune; back when I was just a little Loonie; I had a friend named Myron Corkwhistle.

Myron was a not-quite-poor kid who was always dreaming of strikin’ it rich. Always lookin’ for the big score, it’s all he ever talked about. After he heard the legend of “Mad” Henry and his buried treasure, he wasted most of a summer out at the old abandoned Stoat property, digging holes. He found some old horseshoes and nails and junk, and once he even found a nickel, but he never found any of old Henry Stoat’s gold. I doubt there ever was any.

So anyway, when it came time for Myron’s confirmation, it just so happens that his birthday fell on the same day. And what with aunts and uncles and such, Myron raked in a whopping $23.

“I’m rich,” he told me later. “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get me a twenty dollar bill.”

“Know what else I’m gonna do? Next Saturday I’m gonna take you to the movies.”

So the next Saturday, just as we’re about to enter the theatre, Myron says “Wait a ’sec. I still gotta get my double sawbuck. You go in and get us some good seats, I’ll be back in a minute.

Thirty minutes later, just as the feature was starting, Myron came running in, found me, and before he even sat sat down whispered, “I’m gonna be rich.”

“Whatta you talkin’ about?” I hissed back.

“I’ll tell ya later,” he said.

Oh was he excited. He was so charged up he was shakin’ and ashiverin’ like he was freezin’ to death.

“You alright?” I asked.

“Yeah. Watch the movie,” was all he said.

When the movie was over, I asked him what happened.

“It’s gotta be a secret,” Myron told me. “Let’s get some sodas and go out to the Ramparts. I’ll show you there.”

The Ramparts was what we called the ramshackle little fort we built on the bluff overlooking Caterwaul Creek. When we got there, Myron took something from his pocket and set it on a boulder we used as a table.

“Whutcha make o’ that?” he asked.

Before me was a small wooden box, no more than four inches wide and eight inches long. It had a couple slots in the top, one near each end, and the top was fastened down with four small screws at each corner. Sticking out the side was a small crank.

“What is it?” I asked. “A jack-in-the-box?”

“No, you smart aleck. It’s a money machine.”

“Whattaya mean, a money machine?

“I mean, “he said slowly, “it’s a machine, that makes money. Five dollar bills to be exact.”

Now when it come to brains, Myron wasn’t exactly on top o’ the food chain, if you know what I mean; but he wasn’t completely stupid.

“You’re crazy,” I yelped. “That silly little box can’t make money.”

“Yes it can,” he argued. “I saw it work.”

“Where’d you get it?”

Myron then told me how he’d gone to two places trying to get a twenty when a clerk at the five & dime suggested he try the pool hall. So he went in there and got the crispest, almost newest, twenty dollar bill Manny had in the drawer. As he was leaving the building, a fellow who’d apparently just been hangin’ around came up to him.

“Hey kid,” he says. “How’d you like to make $20 month for the rest of your life?”

“Sure,” said Myron, “but I ain’t gonna rob no banks, and I sure ain’t gonna kill anyone.”

“Nothin’ like that,” the guy says. “You look like a smart kid. I’ve got a little business proposition for ya.”

So they go around back by the coal chute, and this fella shows Myron the box. He tells him that it prints absolutely authentic, hundred percent real, five dollar bills. Then he says he’ll sell it to Myron. Seems he got into a game with some tough cookies and he owes one of them $25. If he don’t have it tonight, he’s in big trouble.

“So you bought it?” I interrupted. “Buddy, I think you’ve been taken in by the flim flam man.”

“No, it really works,” Myron insisted.

“Then why didn’t he just print up $25 and pay the creep?”

“See, that’s the thing,” explained Myron. “That’s why I can only use it to make $20 a month, and why he couldn’t use it to pay his gambling debt. The guy said you have to wait a whole, entire week between uses. That’s how long it takes the frammerstam to recombobulate.”

Myron then told this fella that he’d like to help him out but he didn’t have $25.

“Ya got twenty?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you’re in luck,” he says. “I’ll print a fin, show ya how it’s done, then with that and your double sawbuck I can get this guy off my back.”

And so he did. Myron was so impressed he whipped out his twenty.

“I feel kinda bad about this,” Myron groaned. “What’re you going to do without your money machine?”

“I appreciate the concern, kid,” the man smiled at Myron. “But don’t you worry about me. I’ve got another one at home that prints sawbucks. I just can’t use it yet ’cause I used it during the game the other night. — Lost my stake. Took a break to print a tenspot. Then, holding a full house, got myself $35 into a nice hot pot. Four treys took it home. I think I got cheated.”

“So you gave this guy your crisp, new, first-time-ever, twenty dollar bill for that little wooden box?” I asked.

“Yep,” Myron beamed, “but I’ll make that back in a month. Then I’m on easy street.”

Myron explained to me how you cut a piece of paper to the exact size of a five dollar bill, stick the end into one of the slots, then turn the crank. The blank paper goes in one end and out the other comes a perfect fin.

“Let’s try it,” I said.

“Can’t,” he spat. “Gotta wait a week.”

“I have an idea,” I spat back. “Let’s get a screwdriver and take it apart.”

“Oh no, we can’t do that,” he gasped. “That’s the second rule. I can’t take it apart. He told me the mechanism is so intricately crafted that even just loosening one screw could ruin it forever.”

“Are there any other rules?”

“Just one,” said Myron. “I have to use good bond paper, no cheap notebook or newsprint type stuff.”

So we agreed to meet back at the Ramparts a week later.

Oh Oh.

Friends, my sincerest, heartfelt apologies. Seems this ol’ windbag got to ramblin’ on with his reminiscences and plumb lost all track of time. I’m truly sorry, but I have to cut this story short.

Now of course, as you all certainly know, Myron Corkwhistle’s little wooden box didn’t print any five dollar bills. After more than a month of trying, we finally took it apart. The mechanism was just a set of rollers attached to the crank. It pulled one piece of paper in one slot and shoved another piece of paper out the other slot. The only way to crank out a fiver is to first crank one in. My buddy Myron had indeed been taken in by the flim flam man.

And so have we been taken in by the flim flam man. Those Dysfunctional and Reprehensible power-brokers have been conning us for years. Myron was taken in by a money machine that doesn’t work. We’ve been taken in by one that does. My opponents say our plans to ring in a new age of wealth and prosperity will cost too much money. They’re full of enough balderdash to make even P.T. Barnum blush. What they don’t reckon on is the fact that I know what they know, and we’ll be fooled no longer.

Myron’s money machine didn’t work. But I know who has one that does. The United States Treasury, that’s who.

Those hucksters have had control of the money machine long enough. They gleefully print, with gay abandon, bushels and bushels of money, just to fill the coffers of the high muckety-mucks deemed worthy of their blessings.

NO MORE! Our time has come!

When I’m elected president, the money we print will go where it rightfully belongs. To you, the hard-working, long-suffering backbone of this great nation.

So vote for me, Senator Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

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A Loonie vote is the money vote

 

Unless you’ve been on a weeks-long journey through the wilds of Borneo, you’ve no doubt heard about Barack Obama’s recent comment concerning bitter Americans. This is what Barry is reported to have said at a fund-raiser in ‘Frisco:

You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Hillary Clinton rejoindered with:

I saw in the media it’s being reported that my opponent said that the people of Pennsylvania who faced hard times are bitter. Well, that’s not my experience. As I travel around Pennsylvania, I meet people who are resilient, who are optimistic, who are positive, who are rolling up their sleeves. They are working hard everyday for a better future, for themselves and their children.

John McCain’s campaign responded with:

It shows an elitism and condescension toward hard-working Americans that is nothing short of breathtaking. It is hard to imagine someone running for president who is more out of touch with average Americans. — McCain advisor, Steve Schmidt

I don’t think any of ‘em are really out of touch (except maybe Hillary), they’re just touched (especially Hillary). Actually, I think Obama has a far-better grasp of realpolitik than the other two.

First: He’s right that a lot of people are bitter with the way things are going. After all, the latest New York Times “Are You Happy?” poll says 81 percent feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track. (I’ll discuss this further in an upcoming post.)

Second: When identifying the issues to which these bitter people cling, he’s basically targeting Republican issues. He knows he isn’t going to get the hard-core conservative Republican vote, so it doesn’t matter if he yanks their chains. To the contrary, in so doing he effectively reinforces his popularity with the hard-core liberal Democrats, to whom he was speaking at the time. After all, right now his fight is with Hillary.

Third: He’s sending a subtle message to the squishy middle. He’s telling them that he knows they’re not mindless single-issue voters. He’s offering himself as the candidate that will honestly address important issues without falling back on boilerplate positions.

Senator Obama has said many times in this campaign that Americans are understandably upset with their leaders in Washington for saying anything to win elections while failing to stand up to the special interests and fight for an economic agenda that will bring jobs and opportunity back to struggling communities. — Obama spokesman, Tommy Vietor

Given that nearly half the population now believes all good things flow from government, and almost all the rest accept it as a fact-of-life whether they like it or not, Obama knows how to tap into the growing “when do I get mine?” block of voters.

Phil

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Sage advice from one of my favorite wise guys, Ben Franklin. However, if you could ask him, I bet he’d agree that this notion doesn’t scale up very well. I think ol’ Poor Richard would be seriously distressed to see how the intolerant, freedom-hating Americans of today have so ardently embraced the prevention concept. (Did I say intolerant, freedom-hating?) Yes I did. Just because you say you love freedom doesn’t mean you do. Your actions prove otherwise.

An ounce of prevention may be worth a pound of cure but that doesn’t mean a ton of prevention is worth 16 tons of cure. That would be like saying, since an inch of rain is good, 16 inches would be great. I don’t think your basement would agree. Take chlorine. We use a lot of chlorine to prevent the spread of infectious diseases. It works pretty darn good. Chlorine is also a deadly poison. Use too much, use it improperly, it can kill you.

In the real world, you really can’t prevent very much of anything. It’s probably worth doing what little you can, but beyond that it soon becomes destructive in its own right. Don’t assume that, since one scoop of chlorine will do a good job keeping the pool clean, two or three will work that much better.

Using chlorine as a disinfectant is an example of prevention. Meanwhile, it will rain. Do you have shelter? Finding shelter is not prevention. It is preparation and/or mitigation. Effective living does little to prevent, much, much more to prepare and mitigate. We accept that it will rain and we build a house so we can come in out of it. The big difference between the two is, while prevention tries to keep something from ever happening, preparation and mitigation accepts something will happen and asks “what can I do to lessen the impact on me and mine.”

Here in America, we have decided we can prevent almost anything we don’t like. This is how we become intolerant, freedom-haters. We’re not satisfied with climbing up on our soapbox and loudly denouncing those behaviors we dislike. We have to eliminate these things, completely, with all the force of law we can muster, no matter how long it takes, and to blazes with anyone or anything that gets in our way. We proudly proclaim our intolerance, and lament that until (fill-in-the-blank) is completely wiped out we will never be truly free. Then we try to sanitize the uncomfortable fact that we trample all over people’s freedoms in our quixotic quest to be “truly free.” We identify the evil ones, then psychoanalyze them, villainize them, dehumanize them, criminalize them, penalize them, institutionalize them, and hope to never-again set eyes on them.

Some day it may be your turn.

Phil

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

 

My fellow compatriots,

Throughout the long history of mankind, there has always been those who “have” and those who “have not.” This will always be so. But never before has it been so right to say “this is so wrong.”

The power-elite has held sway long enough. They like to be among the small minority that “have.” Then they can lord-it over the rest of us who “have not.” It’s time to set their tipsy topsy turvy world aright. When we’re through, there’ll be a lot of “haves” and very few “have nots.”

Over the last few weeks I’ve unleashed the first three parts of the Loonie Overall Opportunity Plan for Inclusive Economic Recovery. With HOPE, everyone has a place to call home. Through FAITH, we heal the sick and mend the broken. And LOVE…, LOVE will let us soar to ever greater heights of knowledge and understanding.

These are the buttresses of our economic future, designed to strengthen and support from the ground up. In the LOOPIER fourth part of our blueprint, we make sure we’re building on solid ground.

The foundation of any economy is the average people who do the daily chores, buy the daily bread. My friends, you are the ground upon which our economy grows. Unfortunately, right now that ground is weak. Not that it’s your fault. No, my friends, you are hard-working, industrious and productive people. It’s those better-than-thou elitists who constantly leach the soil of its strength and vigor. They’ll suck you dry to feed their own insatiable appetites.

Well I for one have had enough. We’re going to have an economic recovery built upon a firm and steady foundation. I know we can do this because you, my friends, will be that foundation. With implementation of the Worker’s Income Security and Equity act, you, the hard-working citizens of this great nation, will be as solid as bedrock.

For decades now, the powers-that-be have made lots of promises that never quite seem to come through. They promise more jobs, but where are they. They create a laughable minimum wage, then let it languish. An economy thrives on people making and doing things that others want, as long as they also have the means to acquire things they want from others. Our economy now struggles because the minority elite sucks-up so much for itself, we the people can barely pay the bills, much less spend enough to maintain a vigorous economy.

To correct this injustice, the WISE act will do two things:

1. Create jobs.

There’s a lot of work to do. Why don’t we do it. The first three parts of LOOPIER will, on their own, create countless job opportunities in housing, healthcare, and education. Along with that, we’ll convert Americorps into an actual jobs program, paying actual money. My opponents have suggested raising the number of applicants Americorps will accept from the current 75,000 to a couple hundred thousand. As usual, they want to appear beneficent while not really doing anything for you.

They never really do anything for you. They only do it to you.

I intend to remove the hiring limits on the new Americorps. If people want to work, and can’t find it elsewhere, we’ll put them to work. Like I said, there’s plenty to do, and just about everyone can do something.

2. Raise the minimum wage to a liveable level, with annual adjustments for inflation.

What good is a job if it doesn’t get you out of poverty. No wonder so many people aren’t working. I’m surprised there aren’t more. My calculations put the current minimum liveable wage at just about $30,000 a year. That means the minimum wage should be at least $15 an hour. If we get everybody working and making at least a liveable wage, we’ll all have the means to buy things from each other and keep this economy humming along like a finely tuned watch.

Of course, there will always be a few who either can’t or won’t work. For them, if nothing else, there is still FAITH, HOPE, LOVE…, and Free Lunch.

So there you have it folks. When it comes to comprehensive economic recovery, there’s no better plan than the LOOPIER plan. After I become president, we’ll once again be able to boast the brightest, healthiest, weathiest, and most productive populace on the planet.

So vote for me, Senator Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

≈

A Loonie vote is a WISE vote

 

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

 

My fellow compatriots,

Far too long now we’ve been under the thumbs of Reprehensible and Dysfunctional politicians. To them, we’re nothing but a bunch of buttons to push. Most of the time, when not pushing buttons, they’re plotting and scheming, thinking up more ways to rob us; and cooking up sweetheart deals with the big guns on Wall Street. Their idea of economic stimulus is to drop a bunch of money on the sheep rancher so he can get bigger better, more efficient sheep-shearing equipment. At the same time, they ship a box of sugar cubes to keep the sheep happy while being fleeced.

My friends, do you like being sheep…? I don’t!

We need a change. We are not just in a race for the presidency. We are in an epic struggle for control of our destiny. My Reprehensible and Dysfunctional opponents in this campaign represent the status quo. Those two parties have been in control for 150 years, and what have we got? Strife and discord. Anger and resentment. Greed and corruption. All the result of an infinity of failed policies.

And yet, over the years we have progressed. We’ve moved far forward in both thought and deed. We’ve come from a time of raw subsistence into the land of milk and honey. We’ve done this, not because of any “political” leadership. We’ve done this; the great people of this great land have done this, despite the blundering, self-serving leadership of both parties.

Now they’re trying to deal with their self-created, teetering economy by doing what they always do; plotting together with all their rich “financial genius” buddies to concoct another scheme to hold each other up at the top.

Enough is enough. What we really need to do is reinforce this economy at the bottom. To me that means schoolin’.

Now I look around me and I see a vibrant frenzy of activity. We’ve got widgets and gadgets, gizmos and doodads that do all sorts of things. People all over the place are zippin’ around doin’ all kinds of interesting and silly stuff. We’ve found more ways to make and spend money than our forebearers could ever have possibly imagined. How, I ask, can an economy this exuberant be foundering?

Shoddy workmanship.

For generations, the “ruling class” has been building the education system we have today. From the beginning it provided them, the cultural elite, a means of holding on to their wealth and power. While they send their kids to the Ivy League, your kid’s lucky if he makes it to the bush leagues. While their kids hobnob with the sons and daughters of the already rich and powerful, your kid shares a room with Garth Algar. These snob-school elites develop connections that last lifetimes. Through these connections they are always confident of keeping the “right crowd” in positions of power and influence.

Now those of us in the “wrong crowd,” we understand that the future will be carried on the backs of our children. Left in power, the “right crowd” will give them such a burden they will surely collapse under the load. We need to give our kid’s some help. We need to educate our youth. Over the last several decades, the incorrigibles in power have made many loud noises about how they want everyone to get a good education. Year after year they tell us the education system is unfair but they can improve it. Decade after decade, their improvements have only made things more confusing, more expensive, and even more unfair.

Friends, we’re gonna fix this. We’re going to destroy the elite’s power-grip and give everyone a chance to rise and prosper.

With part three of our Loonie Overall Opportunity Plan for Inclusive Economic Recovery, we’re gonna make it so anyone can go to just about any secondary school they want. We’re going to buttress our economic base with Learning Opportunities to Validate Everyone.

A bright future needs bright people. To get bright people, we’ll create incentives to encourage our children to finish high school and then go further. One big incentive will be the promise, to all high school graduates, that you can go to any school for which you academically qualify. You won’t have to do anything to financially qualify. LOVE will take care of that.

We also understand that a university education is not for everyone. Those seeking other educational opportunities will be equally encouraged and supported. After all, while on the one hand we will soon have a critical need for more educators and healthcare professionals, we still need painters and plumbers, linemen and lumberjacks.

The LOVE program won’t really change the way we pay for college, trade, or any other school. You’ll still have to pay for tuition, buy books and computers, cover basic living expenses. The difference is, we’re going to eliminate all the confusing, time-wasting, grant, aid and loan programs that now abound, and replace them with a simple, boilerplate contract. No matter who you are, you can either pay for everything out of pocket, or you can sign the LOVE contract.

Just as they do now, schools will still set their own academic standards. But if you qualify, the LOVE contract allows you, at government expense, to go to any school you want, whether it be Harvard University, Clabber Falls Community College, or Betty’s Beauty School. You won’t have to worry about anything but getting a good education. You won’t even have to think about paying it back. LOVE will take care of that, too.

LOVE will pay all your tuition and necessary expenses for up to eight, in special cases, ten years. Six months after you leave school, the IRS will begin withholding five percent of your gross income to pay for your education. Under the contract, you authorize four years IRS withholding for every year you were in school, not to exceed thirty years. No matter how much or how little you make, you’re not going to miss five percent. If the education helps you get rich, you’ll wind up paying quite a bit for that education, but it’ll still be worth it. Won’t it?

Detractors of this program claim it will be impossibly expensive (as if what we have now isn’t already impossibly expensive). They really don’t understand LOVE. Sure, at first it will be expensive. It’ll be all government payout with nothing coming back. Within a few years, however, the return flow will begin to grow. We expect that very soon it will be a self-sustaining, revenue-producing, economy-enhancing, people-pleasing success.

As your next president, I intend to see the United States of America back on top. By spreading the LOVE around, we’ll once again be able to boast of having the most highly educated and productive people in the world.

So vote for me, Senator Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

≈

A Loonie vote is a vote for LOVE

 

Hillary Clinton really put her foot in it this time.

After hearing that Barack Obama bowled a 37 the other day, Hillary came out and offered to settle the nomination with a bowling match.

Little did she know, Barack was sandbaggin’ her. He thought she might try something like this. Word has it he’s preparing to accept her challenge. You see, “Banzai” Barry boasts a 198 average over at Barney’s Bowlerama.

Phil

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

My fellow compatriots,

The issue before us today is nothing less than the health, and wealth of a nation, our nation. To be wealthy we must be productive. To be productive we must be strong. To be strong we must be healthy. To be healthy we must have good medical care. In this we are failing.

It’s not that we don’t have good medical care. We have excellent medical care, and it just gets better every year. We have the means to provide the best medical care in the world, and yet we have a “Health Care Crisis.” This is not a crisis of quality. It is a crisis of cost. Year after year, the cost of health care coverage soars ever higher. Every year, more and more hard-working people get priced out of the market. Meanwhile, the insurance companies and their fatcat executives post huge earnings and reap exorbitant bonuses. This is not right.

Lucky for us, my friends, I have a plan that will fix their wagons. We’re going to do what should have been done long ago. We’re going to eliminate the middle-man and make the best medical care in the world affordable for everyone.

In part two of the Loonie Overall Opportunity Plan for Inclusive Economic Recovery, we will create the Full Access Insuring Total Health program. The FAITH program will be another vital tool in our struggle to restore and maintain the physical and economic health of this great land and it’s people.

Here’s how it will work:

1. Medical and health research and development funding will be increased dramatically, fueling the economy while improving our health care capabilities.

2. Health insurance will be effectively eliminated. Everyone will have to pay their own bill, but the bill will be scaled to their ability to pay. The exact formulas have yet to be worked out, but will be simple and based on a persons income or net worth. For most people, you should never have to pay more than an hour’s pay for an hour of medical care. The wealthy will pay more, but no more than they can afford.

3. A new agency, the Medical Accounting Office, will be created. MAO will compile and organize all available health-related information, become the clearing-house for all health and medicine related knowledge, and oversee the cost/price control, revenue distribution structure established by the FAITH program. This will result in a remarkably efficient and affordable health care system.

Let’s suppose your kid breaks an arm. You go to the hospital, it gets fixed. With follow-up visits, medical treatment time comes to eight hours. If you make 20 dollars an hour, you’ll pay 160 dollars. If you make 200 dollars an hour, you might pay 4800 dollars. This pricing structure will give everyone the opportunity to see a health care provider anytime they feel the need. They need never again say “I can’t afford it.”

At this point, I’m sure some of you are thinking, this will either bankrupt the medical industry, or at least create gross inequities. Wrong.

One of the primary responsibilities of the Medical Accounting Office will be to monitor all health care, and establish an actual cost for all practices and procedures. It will determine the actual earned revenues for each health care facility based on services provided and procedures performed. Facilities that bring in more money than they actually earn will forfeit these excess profits. Facilities that bring in less will be augmented. In the end, all will receive a fair return for the services they provide.

Think of it friends, a healthy nation, healthy people, and think of all the jobs this will create for those out-of-work insurance people. We’re going to need doctors, nurses, technicians and orderlies like never before. It is truly a glorious future before us if we only grasp the opportunities we have here and now.

So vote for me, Senator Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

≈

A Loonie vote is a vote for FAITH

 

WHOZIT Magazine
The Loonie Brother: A conversation with Sylvester E Loonie
by Tanya Fauxe
(Excerpt)

Tanya: To what do you owe your brother’s success thus far in the campaign?

Syl: He’s a Loonie.

Tanya: So are you.

Syl: He’s a Real Loonie.

Tanya: Aren’t you a real Loonie?

Syl: Not a Real Loonie. I’m a Loonie, but a Lesser Loonie.

Tanya: Do you think Ray, your brother, can win?

Syl: Yes

Tanya: Why?

Syl: He’s a Loonie.

Tanya: Why should that make a difference?

Syl: We Loonies come from a long line of distinguished, influential Loonies. There have always been Loonie leaders. We view public service as a Loonie obligation; the welfare of the people a Loonie responsibility. I believe people are ready, even eager, to elect a Loonie president.

Tanya: Your brother’s campaign platform contains some very progressive elements. Where does he get these ideas?

Syl: As long as there have been Loonies, Loonies have been politically and socially progressive. Loonies believe government should be compassionate. We Loonies have always felt that government should do everything it can to benefit the people. In fact, I believe most of the people-friendly aspects of modern governance that we take for granted today, were from the very start Loonie ideas.

Tanya: So let me get this straight. Ray’s plans and ideas for a better tomorrow are inherently Loonie?

Syl: Right. Real Loonies are visionaries, far ahead of their time. Ray is taking the big leap, carrying long-held Loonie ideals forward to their logical conclusion.

Tanya: So Ray is a Real Loonie?

Syl: Actually, I think he’s an Exceptional Loonie.

Tanya: Why do you say that?

Syl: Ray reminds me of our great-great grandfather, the great-great statesman Thoreau Lee Loonie. He was an Exceptional Loonie.

Tanya: What qualifies one as an Exceptional Loonie?

Syl: A Real Loonie is ahead of his time. An Exceptional Loonie leaps so far ahead he winds up being right on time. Thoreau Lee Loonie was right on time. I think Ray V. Loonie is right on time.

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

 

My fellow compatriots,

I’ve been taking a lot of heat lately over my stance on death. My opponents have viciously attacked our revolutionary Comprehensive Universal Anti-Involuntary Expiration Act. They call me crazy - suggest I’m an imbecile. They say: It’s impossible; it can’t be done.

Have you heard what Reprehensible candidate Maxwell Fine said recently? He said:

“You can’t outlaw death. That’s like telling a dog not to…, uh, no…, it’s like telling a fish not to swim or a bird not to fly. Something like that.”

That’s exactly what he said. I heard him. Then he said:

“Besides, if anyone has the experience and character required to eradicate death, it’s me. I’m certainly much more qualified to carry on this fight.”

Now friends, I’m not a blithering idiot (though I’m not so sure about Max Fine). I certainly know that you can’t just pass a law and say no one will die. But I also must apologize. I let my personal concept of death cloud my rhetoric. The way I see things, the Good Book allocates each of us 70 years. After that, it isn’t dying, it’s just that your time is up. If you live beyond 70, you consider yourself fortunate. You’ve won some bonus time in the video game of life.

That’s how I think. However, for legislative purposes, I have modified that number. A lot of people these days live well beyond 70, many past 100. My research has led me to 80 years as a reasonable, universal expectation in today’s world. So to clarify things I have already retitled the bill. It shall now be the Comprehensive Universal Anti-Involuntary Premature Expiration Act. It’s purpose is to assure everyone at least 80 years of life.

So what is premature expiration?

Dying before the age of 80.

How do we prevent it?

This legislation will not eradicate death. What it will do is enable us to take the steps necessary to eliminate all forms of preventable death, and it will require us to aggressively fund and promote the research and development needed to assure that we all reach our 80 year expiration date. Within 20 years we expect to be able to make revisions, raising the age of maturity to 100, perhaps higher.

Now as to experience…, well you know me folks. I’ve been just about everywhere that’s anywhere, done just about everything that’s anything. Besides, this is not a question of what I’ll do. It’s what we’ll do. I’m simply your partner and spokesman. Now ol’ Max Fine must be pretty tough indeed if he’s goin’ to wallop Mr. Death all by hisself.

Finally, I would like to make another apology. A couple weeks ago I unveiled the LOOPIER plan and outlined the first of four parts. Since then, distractions have delayed release of the remaining three sections. I apologize for the delay. If I had time today, I’d go over part two with you right now. It would make sense since the CUA-IPE Act and LOOPIER part two augment and support each other. But as I said, I haven’t the time. I do promise you this: I will bring you parts two, three, and four over the next six days. Have FAITH.

Remember: If you believe - everything is possible.

So vote for me, Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

≈

A Loonie vote is a vote for Long Life

International Consolidated Unified Press (ICUP)
BENT SPOON, Nebraska - An already simmering campaign got a lot hotter this week after a local radio-host made some comments at a Reprehensible Party fundraiser that apparently offended presidential hopeful Senator Raymond V. Loonie.

Loonie is the outspoken third-party campaigner running on the Incomprehensible Party ticket.

Last night, the Reprehensible Party held a fundraising “pig-roast and corn feed.” The master of ceremonies for the event was Bent Spoon’s own, popular and irrepressible morning radio drive-guy, “Loopy” Lenny Lipschitz. During his monologue, Lipschitz spent most of his time making jokes about the opposition, and then generally disparaged each of the other candidates in turn. Most of his comments, in fact, were directed at the Dysfunctional Party in general without reference to any candidate.

Loonie’s ire was raised when Lenny, while making comments about dealing with terrorists, and godless enemies, repeatedly referred to the Incomprehensible candidate, in a clearly derogatory tone, as “Ray Vingh Loonie.”

“This is fear-baiting and hate-mongering of the worst sort,” Loonie exploded during this morning’s press conference. “This is already all over the internet, and the purpose of using my middle name in such a manner is obvious.”

For months now, many political pundits have suggested that Loonie hasn’t got a chance because too many people think he’s hindu, or muslim, or buddhist, or taoist, or something. Loonie, of course, has repeatedly denied these claims.

“Let me make this perfectly clear,” Loonie proclaimed. “I have a deep and abiding faith in GOD. I am not buddhist, hindu, or urdu. I am a devout, reverent, lifelong Ecumenicist.”

Loonie also charged Lipschlitz with slanderously defiling his good name with suggestions of drug-use.

“I’ve had more than enough of this vile, baseless slander I keep hearing,” yelled Loonie. “Comments like, ‘What you been smokin’, man?’ and ‘What’re you on? Can I have some?’ have got to stop. I have never ever used, and never ever will use, any recreational drugs.”

“In fact,” Loonie continued, “aside from an occasional glass of celebratory or spiritual communal wine, I don’t take anything, prescription or otherwise, with but one exception. I do take my daily Placebo™. You should too. I feel fine. You can feel fine too; with Placebo™.”

Representatives of the Dysfunctional and Reprehensible parties said they were not prepared, at this time, to make any statements concerning the incident or Senator Loonie’s response.

“Loopy” Lenny Lipschitz’ only comment was: “Huh? I didn’t know I was using his name.”

I have been told many times over the years that I get too worked-up over trivial little things. Contrarily, I don’t consider them trivial. I see these “little things” as symptoms of a much greater disease. A cancer infecting the entire body of a once-courageous, now fear-addled, misled culture.

Below are listed a dozen quotes I culled from around the web. This is followed by a list of possible sources for these quotes. Although I have seen most of these quotes in several places, I will not definitively attest to either the accuracy of the quote, or the attributed source.

See if you can correctly match the alleged source with the alleged quote.

In a free and republican government, you cannot restrain the voice of the multitude.

I go on the principle that a public debt is a public curse, and in a republican government a greater curse than any other.

I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.

Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.

Democracy is the road to socialism.

When a leader is in the Democratic party he’s a boss; when he’s in the Republican party he’s a leader.

Democracy is worth dying for, because it’s the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.

In politics, an organized minority is a political majority.

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions

A democratic government operates best in the disinfecting light of the public eye. Ethics and transparency are not election words*; they are the obligations of democracy and the duties of honorable public service.

Our effort to spread democracy should continue, not to just spread votes, but instead to encourage other people in the world to have the benefits that we enjoy and to welcome democracy.

American democracy was created for self-governing individuals - people who did the right thing whether or not anyone else was watching.

George Washington
James Madison
Frederick Douglass
Abraham Lincoln
Karl Marx
Harry S Truman
Ronald Reagan
Jesse Jackson
Patrick Leahy
John McCain
Mitt Romney
J.C. Watts

If I weren’t so clumsy and inept with this whole html/file transfer/wysiwygy/forward porting/domain prowling/electron herding jargon-laden gobbledygook, I’d probably provide a link to the correct answers.

Instead, I’m more inclined to prattle on with inanities just to add space before I eventually get around to telling you that…

…all will be revealed…

…at the bottom of this post.

 ≈

So let’s get back to this “trivial little thing” which has me so frothified.

When I was in high school (yes, we did go beyond eighth grade in those days), I was mighty ignorant, especially about politics. More than 200 moons old and I still unabashedly believed what I had learned in grade school. There I had been told that we’re all born free, to live as we choose, and that the United States of America was founded to keep it that way. I was taught that this ingenious “Union of Sovereign States” is a republic in which we all agree, as sovereign individual citizens, to preserve and protect our liberties as set forth in the Constitution of the United States of America; and to accept it as the supreme law of the land. In grade school I learned that the Constitution was so written as to clearly define and severely limit the powers of government in order to protect the rights of individual citizens from government. I learned all this and I believed. I was naive.

By the time I graduated high school, I was becoming pretty confused. I knew there were supposed to be differences between Democrats and Republicans. One was the friend of Big Business, the other fought for the Common Man. Until this point in my life, I had paid so little attention I couldn’t tell you which was which.

What difference does it make? They all have to obey the Constitution don’t they? That’s what I thought.

After I did start paying attention, I was still pretty confused. I was still having a hard time telling them apart. By now I knew which was s’posed to be for what, but I’d listen and they’d all pretty much sound the same. They all wanted to tell me what I could and couldn’t do, how not to do it, when to not do it, and with what I could or must not do it. They all wanted to spend more and more money in order to do more and more things that I didn’t think they had any business meddling with in the first place. Ultimately, I came to realize that for most of them, the Constitution was just something on which to hang their hats. They proclaim their love, devotion, and undying protection of the Constitution, all the while methodically twisting and perverting it all out of shape.

Eventually, albeit slowly, I came to realize why I was so confused. We supposedly have two dominant political parties, Democrats and Republicans, their names identifying their opposing political philosophies. What I finally realized was that they all sound like democrats. One would expect Democrats to promote democracy. By the same token, one would expect Republicans to promote republicanism. They don’t. Instead you hear popular, iconic Republicans, young and old, extolling the virtues of democracy. They bandy about phrases like, “spreading democracy around the world,” and, “preserving our democratic way of life.” These are republicans?

When I figured all this out, and realized there was really no one out there defending our Republic and its Constitution, I became sorely miffed.

“What’s the matter with you people,” I scream. “Are you ashamed of being republican?” (or just ashamed of being a Republican)

Personally, I am more of a mind with the framers of our great Constitution. Like them, I detest democracy.

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. (aka mobocracy)
Thomas Jefferson

Democracy… while it lasts is more bloody than either [aristocracy or monarchy]. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.
John Adams

Democracy is the most vile form of government… democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention: have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property: and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.
James Madison

It [democracy] does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people’s minds. (sounds like Jesse Jackson)
Samuel Adams

Referring back to our quote quiz at the top; five of the quotes clearly endorse democracy as a superior form of government. All five were allegedly uttered by alleged Republicans: Abe Lincoln, Ron Reagan, John McCain, Mitt Romney and J.C. Watts. Come on fellas. Are you republicans… or are you democrats? The first three quotes in the list, which actually endorse republican ideals, were reportedly said by George Washington, James Madison and Frederick Douglass - three great republican heroes. Of the four remaining quotes, which might be considered derisive of democracy, three allegedly come from Democrats: Harry Truman, Jesse Jackson and Patrick Leahy. The fourth belongs to Karl Marx.

As a free and sovereign citizen, I have willingly chosen to support the republic and abide by its Constitution. In this vein, I proudly declare that I am a republican. I’m not ashamed of being republican. I would be ashamed to be a Republican. I wouldn’t even consider becoming a Republican until they quit being ashamed of being republican, quit promoting democracy, start promoting republicanism, and actually demonstrate their determination to restore republican liberty and uphold the Constitution. Further, just for the record, I never have and never will support or endorse democrats or the democracy that has so foully corrupted our body politic, and infected our culture with an epidemic of fear and dependency.

Over the years, whenever I express these sentiments, almost invariably I get asked why I “work up such a lather” over such a trivial little thing.

It’s not a trivial little thing! It is in such trivial little ways, and by such trivial little things, that our clear and concise Constitution has been systematically bent and deformed; usurped by the forces of democracy to the consternation of all true republicans. This is not trivial!

Alright, back to the quiz. Did you come up with the correct answers? Did you figure out that the possible sources are listed in exactly the same order as their alleged quotes?

Here again is the list of quotes, this time with attribution.

In a free and republican government, you cannot restrain the voice of the multitude.
George Washington

I go on the principle that a public debt is a public curse, and in a republican government a greater curse than any other.
James Madison

I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.
Frederick Douglass

Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.
Abraham Lincoln

Democracy is the road to socialism.
Karl Marx

When a leader is in the Democratic party he’s a boss; when he’s in the Republican party he’s a leader.
Harry S Truman

Democracy is worth dying for, because it’s the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.
Ronald Reagan

In politics, an organized minority is a political majority.
Jesse Jackson

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions
Patrick Leahy

A democratic government operates best in the disinfecting light of the public eye. Ethics and transparency are not election words*; they are the obligations of democracy and the duties of honorable public service.
John McCain

Our effort to spread democracy should continue, not to just spread votes, but instead to encourage other people in the world to have the benefits that we enjoy and to welcome democracy.
Mitt Romney

American democracy was created for self-governing individuals - people who did the right thing whether or not anyone else was watching.
J.C. Watts

* I removed two words from this alleged quote to obscure its recent origin. The words are year and buzz. The original phrase is “election year buzz words.”

Phil

You may remember the tragic story out of California last December about the death of a teenage girl. The unfortunate youth had been battling leukemia. She’d received chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants. When her internal organs started failing, and her doctors were saying her only hope was a liver transplant, insurer Cigna chose not to cover the treatment. Cigna did pay for her treatments up to this time.

In response to this, the parents, doctors, nurses, and numerous supporters went to work, feverishly struggling to save this poor girl’s life.

The parent’s pleaded with Cigna and acquired public exposure through the press. Numerous doctors signed a letter to Cigna arguing for doing the transplant. The California Nurses Association, and many other sympathizers, organized protests and marched on Cigna.

The girl’s mother is quoted as saying: “My daughter survived two bouts of cancer, and against all odds has been stable even with so many of her organs not working, only to now be told that she can not get the only treatment that will save her life because some administrator in some office thinks it is too expensive.”

The girl had been on the liver transplant list for two weeks before Cigna eventually capitulated. The insurer reportedly notifying the mother that the transplant was approved as she and some 150 nurses and teenagers protested outside Cigna offices. Unfortunately, the girl died hours later. Cigna was too late.

With the girl’s death, the protests got even louder and angrier. Cigna was charged with bowing to the public outcry only after it knew it was too late. The family said they would sue the insurer whom they blame for their daughter’s death. Their lawyer said that Cigna “maliciously killed her” and that he hopes to press murder or manslaughter charges against Cigna. Retaliation is in the air. So is politics.

The following is from a Dec. 19, 2007 press release issued by the California Nurses Association - National Nurses Organizing Committee.

CIGNA’s refusal of Nataline’s liver transplant—overruling the urgent appeals of an array of doctors and nurses—is indicative of the failures of the new healthcare plan sponsored by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Fabian Nunez. That plan, which is actively supported by CIGNA, requires every single Californian to purchase insurance products from companies like CIGNA, but does not address the problem of denial of care evident in this situation.

ABC News quoted the parent’s lawyer as saying:

All of the doctors there unanimously agreed that she needed and should have that liver transplant. And the only entity, if you will, who said no to that in the middle of that medical decision, was some piece of garbage who decided that making a couple of dollars, or saving them a couple of dollars, was worth more than the 65% chance over six months that she would survive.

So let me get this straight.

• The doctors who will do the transplant surgery say it’s her only chance, slim but worth doing.
• There is a liver donor.
• The parents approve of, even endorse the treatment.

SO DO THE TRANSPLANT!!!

Are you waiting for some pencil-pushing bean counter to come in, grab a scalpel, and go to work?

The parents say they want the surgery done but can’t afford the $75,000 down payment (not to mention the rest). The doctors won’t do the transplant without the money. Tell me again who is responsible for this girl’s death?

The parents should be demanding action from the doctors. You insist you’ll find the money any way you can; you tell them you’ll be suing Cigna for it. You tell them you’re going to sell your story for a million bucks. You say whatever it takes…, “Just do the surgery, doc.”

The doctors could do the surgery. They might lose some money on the deal but they have got paid up ’til now. They have this girl’s only hope of life in their hands and they do nothing because of money? - Money they more than likely will be able to collect afterward, anyway?

It seems to me, if the hospital and doctors had simply followed sound, ethical business practices, they could have been heralded as self-sacrificing heroes and still got paid handsomely. Instead they sat on their hands, absolving themselves of all responsibility, and let this girl die.

Meanwhile, Cigna is the evil money-grubbing monster “playing doctor without a license.” The monster that, no doubt, has already paid the doctors and nurses and hospitals far more money for this girl’s care than her parents have paid Cigna for their family’s health insurance.

The people who most ardently proclaim their desire to help people say healthcare costs are too high because insurance companies charge too much. They then villainize insurers for not providing enough coverage. They apparently believe everyone is entitled to unlimited healthcare at a small price; and that it’s economically feasible. What’s worse, they’ve managed to get a whole lot of people to believe in such ridiculosity.

All this said, I can’t help but wonder: If all these people, parents, nurses, teenagers, etc., really wanted to save this girls life, why weren’t they at the hospital chanting and challenging the doctors and hospital, demanding they do the transplant? Why weren’t the hospital staff nurses doing a sit-down or something? Why didn’t the doctors volunteer their services? Call me cynical (’cause I certainly am), but I believe (aside from the tragic loss of an innocent caught in the fracas) the whole uproar was political and many people were actually glad the girl died when she did.

The goal is universal healthcare and any means are justified in pursuit of such a lofty ideal.

Oh what a sick society.

Phil 

Whenever some politician or bureaucrat gets into trouble, especially on the left, numerous others of like persuasion come to their defense. Much of the time this defense will include assertions such as, we should not assign “guilt by association;” or, aren’t we considered “innocent until proven guilty?”

We saw this recently during Eliot Spitzer’s fall (innocent until proven guilty) and the Barack Obama - Reverend Wright flap (guilt by association).

These comments really frost my gourd. They also reveal just how far over the edge these people have gone.

The concepts of a person being presumed innocent until proven guilty, and not being found guilty by association, are founding principles considered absolutely necessary for just governance of a free and independent people. These principles, codified into the highest law, are designed explicitly to protect the common folk from government despotism.

No one, anywhere, will ever convince me that these protections are in place to protect government officials from the common folk. It’s ludicrous. Neither should it be construed that we are legally restrained from forming judgments and opinions about our fellow man. To the contrary, it is through judicious discrimination of personalities when associating with others that we, through free enterprise, improve society and culture to the benefit of all mankind.

The concepts of presumed innocence and freedom of association relate specifically to the creation and enforcement of criminal and statutory law. Holding public office doesn’t fit into either category. It is a public trust, not a civil right. Losing public office cannot in any reasonable way be equated with criminal or statutory conviction.

If I think Eliot Spitzer is a sleezeball unfit for office, I can say and do anything reasonable trying to remove him from office. I just can’t arrest, convict, and imprison him just because I know he’s a sleezeball. If I don’t like what I hear out of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and choose to assume Obama holds similar views, I can do whatever I like with that information in trying to deny him the presidency. Should I find that Rev. Wright has committed a crime, I won’t rush out and arrest Barack Obama.

Phil

Our economy is in serious trouble. We hear about it every day. The question everyone is asking is: What’s Washington going to do about it?”

Well one thing is certain: whatever those charlatans do, it’s not going to fix anything. So far they’ve dropped interest rates to prop-up the stock market, and pumped hundreds of billions of new dollars into the financial markets to keep them afloat. They’re going to fund a national shopping spree with tax-rebate checks and they’re talking about new and better regulations.

This, along with any other silly schemes they concoct, will help about as much as a bucket-brigade bailing crew would have helped the Titanic. Government can’t fix this problem because government caused it. The only thing they can do that would actually help is to eliminate about a trillion dollars of government spending programs, and even this won’t keep us afloat. We’re already in too deep. The gunwales are awash. What massive spending cuts would do is give us the chance to build a new and better ship.

Our economic ship has been sinking for a long time. This is because the crew has been tearing apart the ship to fuel the engines for a long time. They keep us, the paying passengers happy by telling us how well the ship is doing and keeping the buffet tables full.

Politicians and government officials like to take credit for a “good economy,” and blame someone or something else for a “bad economy.” What exactly makes an economy “good” or “bad” depends on whether or not you’re in the power position. Either way, all these power-hungry politicians and professional bureaucrats have plans for “improving” the economy while still spending like drunken sailors.

No matter who they are, everyone gets their economic data from a hodgepodge of government derived figures and formulas, indexes and indicators. And these can change. At one time we had a “Gross National Product” that supposedly measured our national wealth production. Now we have a “Gross Domestic Product” that supposedly measures our national wealth production. In short, we give government the authority to manage a baseless, fluid money supply; give it the power to define how the economy is measured; and put them in charge of inspection and repair of our economic ship. Would they put that much confidence in you? Ask all those people trying to save the Delta Queen.

The problems created by all this profligate spending and market manipulation are too numerous to count. At the heart of it all, however, is the inference that money = wealth, and since government is the source of all money, it is the source of all wealth. This is foolish, dangerous thinking.

Wealth is a semi-intangible value determined by the combination of two factors.

1. What is this thing I have worth to me?
2. What is this thing I have worth to others?

The “thing” involved can be an object, service, or idea.

Money is only a tool we use to measure and trade wealth. It’s an imperfect tool at best. The more they screw around with the money supply, the less accurate and effective a tool it becomes.

Now the truth is, our economy has enjoyed tremendous growth for the last 20 years and more. We have, on the whole, become much more wealthy. We have created an infinity of never-before-dreamed-of market niches that produce untold riches. Unfortunately, we’ve allowed this wealth to be shamelessly squandered by those who claim to have our best interests at heart. They enact a never-ending stream of laws, creating more crimes, more regulations, more programs, more agencies…each and all of which cost more money. When things occasionally get tight, and we balk at giving them more of our wealth to use, they either print more money or borrow it from somewhere. Either way, they’re spending wealth they don’t have.

They get away with this because they take credit for this tremendous economic growth; they assume that it will continue indefinitely under their wise manipulation; and they measure most of what they do simply by how much money they spend on it. They apparently have never understood the true cause of this growth, nor recognized the fact that this growth must stall. They also don’t seem to realize that they’ve been spending far beyond our means for a long time.

The robust economy of the last 20 years is not due to wise governance. Republicans tout Reaganomics. Democrats like redistribution. Both approaches have influenced things but neither has anything to do with the true source of this new-found wealth.

Many of you remember the campaign of 1992 and Bill Clinton’s now-famous sign: “It’s the Economy, Stupid!”

So what’s the real source of this sustained growth? “It’s the Computer, Stupid!” Or, if you prefer, the integrated circuit.

The computer improved almost everything that already was, and made possible so much more. It, and people making productive use of it, has done more to increase wealth around the world than almost all other discoveries and inventions combined. It has provided huge improvements in efficiency and effectiveness over all aspects of modern life.

This incredible computer-generated-growth, however, cannot continue unabated. It is, even now, on the decline. This doesn’t mean that computers won’t continue to improve things. It only means that we have already reaped the bulk of the crop. We have gleaned most of the benefits inherent in the move from analog to digital. Future computer-generated improvements will be small in comparison, as will any related economic growth.

For at least 20 years the computer has created tremendous wealth where none existed before, and it has been squandered by politicians, bureaucrats and those that feed at the trough of government largesse. They deride the educational system they helped create, the health-care system they helped pervert, the penal system they helped overfill, the economic system they helped destroy; and then tell us they can fix things with more money.

Twenty years ago, during a discussion with my brother, we agreed that if government would stop its growth at 1987 levels we could probably survive it. We didn’t like where things had got to even then. Now, in 2008, it’s way too late.

The captain and crew are still optimistic. They say we’re just passing through some rough water and assure us the economic ship is unsinkable. The buffet tables are still full, and they’ll stay full as long as the crew can find a way to stock them. Eventually, however, despite all their confident bluster, the Titanic will sink.

We seem to be short some lifeboats.

Phil 

Socialism here we come
on the road to perdition
life will never be the same
socialism here we come.

 

My fellow compatriots,

For decades the fatcats in Washington have been lining their own pockets at our expense. They squeeze us to subsidize the big corporations and lending institutions while occasionally throwing us a bone to keep us quiet. They claim that as long as the rich get richer we’ll all do great.

This is called the tinkle down theory.

My friends, you’ve been hoodwinked. The truth is, while the rich get richer, you get pee.

That is why I am announcing today part one of the Loonie Overall Opportunity Plan for Inclusive Economic Recovery; a four-part program that will give everyone a winning ticket in the lottery of life.

Housing Opportunities Provided for Everyone

Now we’ve all heard about the home mortgage crisis. Many of you have already been foreclosed upon, and many more will soon suffer the same fate. Construction is down. Home values are down. The entire economy is faltering.

How did this happen? Greed.

For years now unscrupulous moneylenders have been writing loans they knew you couldn’t repay. They knew this time would come, but they also knew that when it did their buddies in Washington would bail them out. Thus giving them back the money they ”rightfully earned.” Plus they get a bonus. They get your home.

So what have the fatcats in Washington done to try to fix the situation? Well first they threw us a bone, something for us to chew on while they go about their real business of saving the rich. This bone is called economic stimulus. They’re going to send us each a few hundred dollars so we can go out and spend it at the corporate stores. Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve just announced that it is going to pump $200 billion into the financial market. In other words, you get a pittance while all those greedy bankers and moneylenders rake it in.

Now it seems to me, if they really wanted to help you, they would use all that money to pay-off your mortgage so you could keep your home. No, that would be too complicated. Easier to just give it to the rich folks and let it tinkle down.

I think this is wrong. In part one of my LOOPIER program, Housing Opportunities Provided for Everyone, we will correct, once and for all, this inequitable situation. When we’re done, everyone will have equity. How will we do this?

1.  Return all foreclosed homes to their rightful owners.
2.  Issue new mortgages to these homeowners with payment plans they can afford.
3.  Implement an aggressive housing contruction program that will give everyone the opportunity to own their own home.

When I’m elected, my friends, the bankers and moneylenders will be working for us, not the other way around. You can rest assured, as your president I’ll grab those fatcats by the ankles and shake’em good. Then we’ll see some real tinkle down economics.

So vote for me, Senator Raymond V. Loonie, to be your next president.

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A Loonie vote is a vote for HOPE

 

When are people going to wake up and realize that people with power will abuse